Date: Feb 6, 2013 2:34 PM
Subject: Strange request
I have an odd request of you. At the end of last year and for over a month, I was ill, but I did not call the doctor. By the time I had finally resolved to do so, I was starting to feel better. To encourage me to call the doctor, Angela withheld my Christmas present. Though I am fully healthy again, she is still withholding until I bring proof that I have spoken with a doctor. In the spirit of literalism, I'm wondering if you, Dr. Parks, would write a note saying that I conversed with you. :) Knowing Angela, I'm sure she would honor that. If you're game, an email would be great.
Date: Feb 6, 2013 2:52 PM
Subject: Re: Strange request
Dear Ms. (or, perhaps, Miss) H,
It is always a pleasure to consult with you on matters of interest to your health and welfare. I refer to our conversation on the sixth of this present month concerning the disposition of certain material goods. While the giving and receiving of Christmas presents is uniformly regarded as optional, especially between those socially related, such exchange must be strongly urged when the putative recipient has been "very good," not to mention "nice," and not the least bit "naughty."
Of course, the evaluation of one's conduct by others is a matter of individual opinion and private judgment — to them. But one may hope that friends would seek unity in such judgments. In suggesting that your conduct would bear well under the keenest scrutiny that an elf could muster, I remain
Yours very truly,
Dr. Alan E. P.
BA, MS, PhD